Ninbijuu D and the Village of Destiny
by ShinobiGama
Summary: The Shinobi World is about to bow to a new power...ROCK! Join Naruto and Killer BEE in this delightful story of suspense, romance, yaoi...nahh just kiddin' But seriously they WILL revolutionize the world with their tunes, now they need an awesome village!
1. Kickapoo

Rated "M" for language and some sexual content

I do not own Naruto or any references/comparisons/ideas originated from Jack Black's and Kyle Gass's band Tenacious D and their movie "The Pick of Destiny"

_Song/singing_

**Demon speech**

normal talking

"_dream/fantasy speech"_

_Note from the author:_** For Ultimate appreciation of this, listen to songs from actual soundtract...can be found on youtube as well.**

**.**

**.Phase one, Kickapoo  
**

**.**

Now without further ado, ShinobiGama Fics presents

A Jumble Rie Production

Uzumaki Naruto and Killer Bee star in...

**Ninbijuu D**

_And the Village of Destiny_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Here-we-go--------------

_A long ass fucking time ago_

_In a town called Konoha-ooo_

_There lived the Hokage's Council,_

_Assholes through and through._

_They tried to control the black sheep_

_and failed at all they do._

_His name was Naruto_

_and he refused to step in line._

_A vision he did see it,_

_being awesome all the time._

_He laid a clever plan and all the planets did align..._

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...let me get this straight...We have just graduated from the Academy. We have just become genin. Between the two of us we know three E rank jutsus, one B rank, and thats because my dad taught it to me before Itachi-teme killed him, and an A rank, which you can use only because you're a chakra freak. And despite all this you wanna do this crazy stunt so you will be recognized for its "awesomeness" and become Hokage?"

Naruto nodded emphatically at the stone faced Uchiha.

"Yup! Thats right!"

Sasuke looked past Naruto towards the big gaping cave behind him.

"And killing a dragon will automatically make you Hokage?"

"You got it!"

....

....

...."I am so out of here"

"Wait! Sasuke! Teme! I need your help! I'll make you my ANBU captain!"

"Dobe, my greatest talent is FIRE breathing, you know, the thing that dragons do anyway?? I dont think I would be that much a help. I'm a prodigy, not the fucking messiah. Good Luck. ...Kami knows you need it."

So the last loyal Uchiha made his way back towards Konoha from the mountain range that he had somehow been convinced by Naruto to go to. As his duck ass hairdo dissapeared from his view, Naruto became somewhat...apprehensive. Now he would have to fight the dragon all by himself.

"no, No, NO! This is how a REAL Hokage fights! All by himself facing the greatest of dangers and emerging victorious! THAT is how a man fights! I can win! I WILL win!"

Naruto discarded his traditional orange jumpsuit and instead replaced it with a pair of black cargo pants with wrappings around his abdomen, and a full length forest green leather coat with faint orange swirls embroidered along the edge. With his headband used as a belt his new essmble was complete...and totally fucking epic if he did say so himself.

He drew a really really big kunai and charged the cave shouting,

"For Konoha! For Glory! FOR RAMENNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------music break-----------------------------

_Oh the dragon's balls were blazing as I stepped into his cave._

_And I sliced his fucking cockles, with a long and shiny blade!_

_Twas I who fucked the Dragon_

_fuck-a-li! Sing fuck-a-loo!_

_And if you try to fuck with me than I shall fuck you too!_

_Gotta get it on in the party zone_

_Gotta lick a chone in the party zone_

_I gotsta shoot a load in the party zone_

_Gotta suck a bone in the party zone!_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------End------------------

In pain, blackened with soot, covered in blood and...stuff, and still smoking, Naruto stood before the Hokage.

The Hokage was pissed! As much as he cared for Naruto like a grandson, what he did was unacceptable! Not only had he killed the guardian from the Temple of Fire (which he actually thought was amazing but he would never say that), but he had also left his active team dragging Uchiha Sasuke along with him (who, some how, was still not back. Either he was dead or he had become bat shit lost.).

Basically, Naruto was in deep shit and now even the Hokage couldn't save him.

"Naruto what did I say about going to kill the dragon?!?!"

"....not to do it."

"NOT to do it! And what did you do?!?"

"...I did it"

"You DID it! I'm sorry Naruto but my hands are tied! The council has declared your punishment...In SONG!

The council all emerged wearing various rock and roll costumes. The most disturbing however was Hiashi Hyuuga dressed up like Michael Jackson...Hiashi liked only Pop. Danzo started beating the drums with his two hands(?) as Koharu and Homura rocked out on the guitar and Bass. The Hokage, now dressed like Meatloaf grabbed a mic and began.

_You disobeyed my orders kid,_

_Why did you cross the line?_

_Im goin to seal your chakra_

_From now till end of time!_

_I know the beast in your belly_

_Comes from the depths of hell_

_Kyuubi is the devil's son_

_He wants you to rebel!_

_Your too succeptible to corruption!_

_Kyuubi will pull your strings!_

_Your Heart will lose direction_

_And Chaos you will bring!_

_Im sorry Naruto but your on your own!_

_Your Grounded for all life with no telephone_

_Dont let me see you cry! dont let me hear you moan!_

_Your now a prisoner in your own home._

"....well shit."

---------------------------------(In the sealing chamber)-------------------------------------------------

Sarutobi however was too kindhearted to let Naruto become a mindless puppet to the council for the rest of his life. So before he actually did the sealing, he left Naruto alone in the chamber and left the door unlocked.

Because he loved his grandson so much, he would allow him to run away.

....

...Now if only Naruto would get the hint. He was just sitting there looking at the picture of the Yondaime. Cmon kid! Hurry up!

Just as Sarutobi was about to give up he was struck with inspiration, and with a small sad smile, he place a genjutsu on Naruto.

-----------------------------------(Within the Illusion)------------------------------------------------------

_Yondaime can you here me?_

_I am lost and so alone._

_I'm asking for your guidance,_

_Would you come down from your throne._

_I need a tight compadre who is cool just like you_

_The Council thinks I'm evil but dude thats just not true!_

_Im just unwelcome like a bull_

_inside a store of glass_

_I need to roam _

_and leave this home._

_Yondaime please save my ass!_

All of a sudden the picture of the fourth Hokage melted away and the very person appeared in front of him decked out in an all white version of Naruto's outfit.

_I hear you brave young ninja_

_You are ready to kick some ass!_

_But before your awesome like me_

_There are tests that you must pass!_

_Escape this horrid Council_

_If you ever hope to grow._

_On a journey you must trek_

_To find the village of Kumo-o-o!_

_In the city of fallen demons,_

_Where the mountains are so grand!_

_You will form a strong alliance _

_And the worlds most awesome band!_

_To find your fame and fortune _

_Through the valley you must walk!_

_You will face your inner evils_

_Now go my son and_

_ROOCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!_

----------------------------------------------------------(illusion dispersed)------------------------------

Naruto looked around the hallways outside the sealing chamber before he sprinted for the exit.

As he burst out of the Hokage's Tower and began leaping towards the village gate, Naruto realized that he was forgoing his dream of being Hokage.

How could he abandon his life long ambition?

How would he live without a goal in life?

If he couldnt be the Hokage what good was his existence?

Naruto then remembered the words of the Yondaime and realized his new goal,

"I will go to Kumo! I will find one who aspires to be fucking epic like myself! And then, once i have become as awesome as the Fourth, I will make my own village and be the Kage there! Believe it!"

He was immediately struck by lighting out of seemingly nowhere.

As he lay smoking on the ground Naruto assured himself that uttering those words again would probably not be a good idea. He lept back up, shook off the ashes from his shocking encounter and lept off the gate into the wide world.

Kakashi and the Third, watching the back of the teenager move farther and farther away, sighed and began thinking about how much they would miss the world's most unpredictable ninja known. The Third turned to the jounin and stared at him for a bit.

"...you know....you didn't have to cast that lightining jutsu on him."

Kakashi just stared at his Hokage before looking back out towards the gate. With the wind softly swishing through his silver hair he replied with a succinct,

"Yes. Yes I did."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------(back to Naruto)----------------

_So he flew from fucking Konoha with hunger in his heart._

_And he journeyed far and wide to learn the secrets of his art._

_And now the tale begins, at last the journey finally starrrrrrrrrrts._

_Star-a-a-a-arrrrrrttttsssss_

_St_a_r-a-a-a-aryar-aryar-aryar-aryar_

Starts!

---------------------------------------------------(end)--------------------------------------------------------

Wow. That was really fun to write. This is just a whim so dont be hoping for continual updates, but please tell me wat you think about it. Alright guys. ShinobiGama, Out!


	2. Classico

Rated "M" for language and some sexual content

I do not own Naruto or any references/comparisons/ideas originated from Jack Black's and Kyle Gass's band Tenacious D and their movie "The Pick of Destiny"

_Song/singing_

_"naruto singing"_

_"Killer Bee singing"_

**Demon speech**

normal talking

_"dream/fantasy speech"_

**Note from the author: For Ultimate appreciation of this, listen to songs from actual soundtract...can be found on youtube as well.**

Note number two: I feel credit should partially be given to Mr. Nobody for this chapter as his lyrics helped inspire me.

.

**Phase Two, Classico**

**.**

Uzumaki Naruto and Killer Bee star in...

**Ninbijuu D**

_And the Village of Destiny_

* * *

Three years had passed since Naruto had abandoned the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

He had travelled through the secret passages of Takigakure.

He had braved the blistering heat of the deserts in Sunagakure.

He had narrowly escaped capture from a weird pedo snake guy in Otogakure....he hadn't even known there WAS a sound village.

He had barely remained undetected when he had stumbled back INTO Konohagakure.

He had somehow gotten caught up in a "bloodline" feud in Kirigakure.

Yes indeed he had seen almost every major country in the Elemental Nations....except ofcourse...

".....WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT KAMI DAMNED KUMO?!?!?!?!?"

shouted the now quite tall (not to mention irate) Uzumaki.

Indeed, how one shinobi who had wandered around for three years and NOT get to Kumogakure was a mystery in it of itself. It would appear that it was one of the few villages that were ACTUALLY hidden.

He had learned much in his wanderings. Numerous different kinds of jutsu (for some strange reason he could always find a female Jounin more than willing to teach him) were now under his control. He had learned the finer aspects of chakra control (he accidentally found out how to water walk when he had fallen overboard on a ship to Kirigakure, desparation is a powerful motivator). And he had even found a decent kenjutsu teacher in the Land of Wave (while Zabu-something had been a good teacher he was weird-ed out by the fact that the "Haku" 'guy' liked to watch him bathe).

However, his greatest find was in his new life purpose....Music.

Indeed, while he had been evading rape in the Hidden Sound Village, he had found a young woman by the name of Tayuya who, despite her tendency to smack him and her potty mouth, opened his eyes to the beauty and power of an amazing tune. While he enjoyed her playing on the flute however he knew it was not for him, he needed something brasher, bolder, and totally kick ass. He found his answer in the form of an old sitar, he souped it up with an orange paint job as well as a few sound amplifying seals and started learning. Naruto now had another addition to his ever growing title.

Naruto,

Jinchuuriki

Missing Nin

Dragon Slayer

Wandering Musician

While he was proud of his repertoire, no amount of titles could quench his anger and frustration for not being able to find that fucking village.

In his musing he realized that he had walked into a new town. It seemed bigger than the ones he had recently visited, this excited him, for the chances of a ramen bar are directly connected to the size of a village.

"No! NO!..... Find out where I am, find out where it is in relation to Kumo, THEN get ramen. Hmmmm who to ask who to as- Oi! Oi! You! Yah, you buddy."

However, despite his shouting Naruto was ignored by the man in the flak jacket. Naruto's eye twitched as the man kept walking.

Naruto does not like being ignored.

Using a short range variation of the shunshin (Naruto called it shunpo) the now irate Uzumaki grabbed the poor and surprised bystander by the collar, lifted him up, and got right in his face yelling,

"HEY BASTARD! ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHERE THE FUCK IS KUMOGAKURE!! SO ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME OR DO I NEED TO SHOVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR OWN ASS VIA MY FOOT!??!"

The man, now greatly shaken and a little scared for his life meekly pointed up at a sign that was directly above them. Naruto looked perplexed before he looked up and read the sign

**Welcome happy tourists to Kumogakure! The city that never goes into a shinobi like trance that only makes it APPEAR that we're asleep! **

Naruto looked at the man and saw that he was indeed wearing a kumo headband. He gently set the man down, bowed, and ran for the closest ramen bar he could find.

Soon he found said bar only to find that was just a seedy Karaoke bar that sold ramen. He didn't wanna put up with any crappy tunes but hey, anything for a bowl of decent ramen.

As he sat down and ordered the largest bowl they had he began to hear music, it was unlike anything he had heard before.

It was crude.

It was harsh.

It...It was awesome.

he turned to the stage and on it he saw a large man, probably around 6'7", with black skin, blond hair in corn rows held back with a white kumo headband. He wore black sun glasses which in turn drew the eyes towards the black tattoo on the side of his face. He also wore a long white scarf that reminded him of Konohamaru. In addition to that he wore a white chest plate that only covered half his chest, and to finish the ensemble he wore black shinobi pants with a gray sash as well as black, red trimmed shinobi sandals.

Naruto was in awe...the guy looked totally kick ass!

The unknown man brought the mic to his lips and began;

_Im called Killer Bee, I like to wear shades._

_You mess with me, you'll feel my blades._

_I'm a kick ass swordsman and a hip rapper too._

_I hate little panzies and gettin gum on my shoe._

_My big bro is the raikage_

_It sucks cause I gotta do what he say._

_But I dont care cause I know some day_

_People'll point at me_

_and say "Killer Bee!"_

_And go "No Way!"_

_pfft ke kah! petoo ke kah! Vr vree vr vree vr vree_

_Number one in the hood y'all!_

.

.

.

Naruto was in awe. He jumped up and immediately began clapping, and hollering, and whistling and doing anything possible to show that he had enjoyed the performance.

Killer Bee had been having an average day.

He had gotten up, taught his students a little. He went to his brother's office where he received another lecture about his "attitude". Finally he came to the one place in town that still let him rap. He had done about three different pieces of his own creation and had met the same reaction each time.

Total and complete indifference.

At least they weren't booing him...but that was probably because he was their leader's brother.

Either that or because they knew he would go Hachibi on their asses if they did.

One or the other really.

As he had finished his latest song he heard something that shocked him to no end.

Applause

Way back, near the bar, was a blond kid clapping and cheering his ass off. This was nice, this was new, and Killer Bee realllllllllllyyyyyy liked it.

However, he had to retain his "cool indifferent rapper fascade" if he hoped to make it big. So he simply ignored his adoring fan. He turned to the open mic host and nodded at him while handing him a piece of paper.

The host read the paper, sighed and approached the middle of the stage.

"Killer Bee, that was Killer Bee ladies and gentlemen. Our next singer will be...Killer Bee again. This time he will sing his own rendition of Johan Sebastion Bach's masterpiece which he has titled...really? Really now? Ugh...ok, it is called "Suck my 'D' in E Major"....god forgive me."

Naruto was psyched! This cool dude would be singing ANOTHER tune. Awww man, he couldn't wait! However it was then that he noticed that most of the patrons began to leave.

"Wha- Wait! Where are you guys goin?!? This dude is awesome! Hey man! Don't pay any attention to them! Their all retards!"

Then the black rapper turned to him and said,

" Yo dude quiet down! 'Fore I decide to smack you 'round!"

"Alright man! Sorry! Go ahead!"

Killer Bee took a deep breath and was about to start when all of a sudden the twerp jumped onto the stage with him, grabbed another mic and sang!

_"Can't you see he's the man?_

_Let me hear you applaud!_

_He is more than a man ,_

_He's a shiny, golden God!"_

the Hachibi's host saw red.

No one,

NO ONE upstages the Bee!

_Yo, if you think it's time to fucking rock,_

_and fucking roll out of control_

_Well listen up, you gotta ride the block, _

_you fucking suck, my fucking cock!_

Naruto, now enthused more than ever thought the continuation to be an invitation, so he replied,

_"Cause when you rule_

_You fucking school_

_All of the fools _

_out of their jewels"_

_"Cause if you think it's time to"_

_"If you think it's time to"_

_If you think it's time to fucking _

_Roooooo-oooock!_

_"He is going to kick your fucking knee!_

_And, you know, his name is Killer Bee"_

_Rocking and Fucking Rolling_

_And Fucking Rocking and Fucking Rolling_

_And fucking-_

Killer Bee dove forward on his knees and began beet boxing like there was no tomorrow.

_"Buberup buberrup buberup Doo!_

_BububedupBububedupBubudeep_

_Buberbuu_

_Buberbuu_

_Buberbuu Doo!_

_Ba duh duh duh Doo!_

_Ba ba da ba da da Doo_

_Ba ba da ba da da _

_Deri Doo!_

Their song finished, the two nin musicians looked at each other.

They both went to speak before they were interrupted by a screaming man in the back. He was clapping his hands like crazy and sobbing tears of joy. Naruto was disturbed as he recognized the fan as the pedo snake from Oto.

As the snake man ran out of the village with a whole horde of Kumo Jounin on his tail, the two shinobi looked at each other once more.

"For a kid I thought was whack, you sure got some rhymin' attack."

"Thanks!...I think."

"As you can see, My name is Killer Bee."

"I'm called Uzumaki Naruto! Kick ass shinobi and rock artist! Believe it!"

It had been the first time in three years that he had said it, and for some strange reason, Lightning once again streamed down from the sky and struck our poor hero.

As he lay smoldering on the ground, Kakashi on the other side of the continent smiled contentedly.

Killer Bee just stared at the strange kid who had somehow already left an impression on him. As he slowly walked away from the poor twerp Bee couldn't help but think that he would be seeing a lot of that kid in the times to come.

The Wheels of Destiny have begun to turn.

--------------------------------------------------End-------------------------------------------

CUT!** aLRIGHT! Pretty nice right? Well I'll be getting bk to my other works soon as well! Thanks everybody and be sure to leave a review! Suggestions are also greatly appreciated. Again lets give a big hand for Mr. Nobody! Thanks! **

**ShinobiGama, out!**


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